Just look at all these awesome douchebags and tell us with a straight face you wouldn't want to be there in the middle of June, when the Chongqing sun becomes increasingly unforgiving...
Well if you're a quick enough draw, you have the chance to participate in this summer's first POOL PARTY! That's right: two pools, four DJs, Chongqing's whiskey connection Certified Pure and JK47 aka Vegas behind the bar pouring cheap beer and cocktails (including the refreshingly potent Rusty Nail that will give you access to the VIP section), not to mention six ready-to-go hotpot tables by the pool.
Oh yeah, you want this to happen.
So...

PERFECTO PREP is putting it together, but we need a bit of insurance. If we manage to sell 50 tickets in the next week, we are going through with it. Full speed.
It breaks down like this:
The party is set to be on Saturday June 15th, starting around 2pm. The venue closes at 10:30 so no point in coming if you finish work in the evening...
If you buy in advance, it's 60元 for boys, 40元 for girls.
Tickets at the door will be 80元 for boys and 50元 for girls.
To get your tickets, get in touch with us directly or send an email to chongqingma@gmail.com, with “pool party tickets” in the subject line. Specify the amount of tickets, boy or girl and whether or not you'll be eating hotpot...
Simple as that, get on it quickly so we can do the same!

To get you even more excited, above is an actual pic of the pool we took this week and on the right is the hotpot section...

What are you waiting for?!?!?

There are now the same number of foreign consular institutions in Chongqing as there are in Chengdu - take THAT 'Home of the Panda'!

So far eight countries - Canada, Japan, Great Britain, Cambodia, Denmark, Philippines, Hungary and Ethiopia - have set up consular offices in Chongqing, but the end of 2013 will probably see Chongqing beat those scoundrels to the west once and for all, as Italy and The Netherlands both plan to open offices before the year is out. 

Suck it up and eat Chongqing's dust, Chengdu..

Xinhua once again scoops the international media with the biggest story of the day; there are some pictures of Angelina Jolie. 

Closer inspection reveals that they are not in fact that sexy and are in fact just downright weird. But she's looking better in some of these pics than she has for a while, so there's something to celebrate.

Keep up the great work, Xinhua

That's right, it's out! Go get it at all the usual cool places!
Here's the breakdown real quick:
Cold Cave is playing Nuts this Friday (May 3rd), with The Maples to support. If you can't go on Friday, check out party punk band The On Fires the day before, supporting band's the same...
Trivia Night is now on Tuesdays and it's at Cliff's! Fans of Da Rasta's Pub Quiz will hopefully flock to this one from now on...
The Flea Market is back this month (May 20th - location to be determined), so bring your old crap and see if anyone wants it. If you need some old crap to redecorate, then you should come too!
Mr. Chelonian (海龟先生) is our featured band this month, come check out their rock and reggae stylings at Nuts on the 25th!
Top party this month: JCC from Guangzhou is doing her farewell tour, stopping by Nuts on the 31st!

True respect for the deceased or strange attempt at turning profit? A Chongqing funeral salon is now offering a foot massage and hair wash along with the old cremation services.
With the prices of tomb sites reaching a whopping 30000 yuan in urban areas, folks will be glad to know only a little over 1000 kuai will gain them access to the ceremony, held about ten times a month.
Fetishists heed, say goodbye to your loved ones in what can only be the most awkward and uncomfortable way possible...
From kankan news

That's right, our april calendar is out!
Our recommendations for this month are:

Queen Sea Big Shark at Nuts on Friday the 5th, 20:30.

Check out the CQFC battle it out with the CQ Lifan for the Chongqing Derby, Saturday the 6th, 15:30 at the Yuanjiagang stadium.

Monday the 8th starting in the late afternoon is the Annual Gongrencun Block Party, bring your instruments and come chill with us downstairs from Helen's, at the shaokao area. Burgers and Meizijiu punch on offer!

Nuts is having a Punk Fest Saturday the 13th at 12:30 with a skate competition and eight bands, local and from out of town.

A Flea Market is going down at Rasta on Monday the 15th in the afternoon, come buy and sell stuff, cold beer in your hand!

Russian reggae star Stepa Style is hitting Nuts on Thursday the 18th at 20:30, but if you're more the highbrow type, “water dancing” show Water Rouge is opening on the same night at Hongyadong's Bayu Theater.

Thursday the 25th is a Whisky Society open tasting at Easigar on Beibin Lu. 150元, 250元 if you want your whisky with a cigar...

and...

On Saturday the 27th check out the latest edition of HEAVY FLOW!!! This time, we're doing a 70's/80's throwback for the annual RETRO PARTY with DJs Afanti and Goodweed. Tickets 20元, only 10元 if you show up wearing 70's and 80's style clothes!

The calendar will be available at every bar, café or venue that's cool enough to have it. Start looking!

By the way, the girlfriend of the deceased murdering bandit, Zhou Kehua (a.k.a. The Joker), was sentenced to five years in jail and a RMB 10,000 fine on Friday last week.

Zhang Guiying, 22, was found guilty of harbouring a criminal and concealing income from crime by a judge at Chongqing's Shapingba District People's Court. She was arrested after Zhou was whacked by Chongqing police in August last year.

Zhou Kehua was a right scoundrel. Born in 1970 he was already familiar with the inside of a jail well before his 16th birthday and throughout the 1990s was in and out of trouble for trafficking firearms. That's how serious this guy was.

It was the early 2000s however that the Joker earned his true bad-ass-motherfucker stripes as a mercenary in Burma. Shit.

In 2004 he returned to China to launch what can only be described as a one-man violent crime epidemic, combining firearms knowledge, mad kung fu skills and a willingness to kill anyone for money.

Between 2004 and his death last year he killed 10 and injured five people, including bank staff, civilians and even soldiers. He is said to have stolen millions of RMB across Jiangsu, Hunan and right here in Chongqing.

He really pissed off the authorities in Chongqing when he killed a woman in Shapingba last summer however, and the city responded by putting to use that awesome mafia-eradicating police force it has paid for. He was dead in days. And now his girlfriend's behind bars. The end. (…Or is it?)

Convenience store 7-ELEVEN is to open 1,000 stores in Chongqing beginning this year.

Not content with the sight of the Japanese-owned LAWSON spreading throughout Chongqing, the also-Japanese-owned 7-ELEVEN will finally begin its fight for Chongqing market share before the year is out.

7-ELEVEN is already a famous and much-loved brand throughout the world. In ultra-modern cities such as Hong Kong, "Club-7" doubles as a place to pay bills, top up public transport cards, charge mobile phones, and even pay rent. 

An often overlooked but very handy benefit to having a 7-ELEVEN open up in your area is also that all the mom-and-pop cigarette and beer stalls near your house will quietly disappear, letting you relax safe in the knowledge that your money goes straight into a multinational every time, and never to a kind old lady's retirement fund.

Rumours surrounding the entry of 7-ELEVEN into the Chongqing have been circulating for some time, but an official announcement at last makes this much clear: 7-ELEVEN will throw down RMB 1 billion first. It will establish 1,000 stores throughout the city, and it expects to earn RMB 7 billion a year out of those.

Chongqing wins too, as it is predicted that out of that, the city will keep RMB 300 million a year in tax (that's a bowl of noodles per year per resident), and 50,000 jobs will be created.

CQScene will be waiting to see what kind of import alcohol is on offer at 7-ELEVEN compared to competitors LAWSON (Asahi) and local underdog Maxwell (PBR).

As the Wall Street Journal and World Architecture News have reported, CapitaLand (the Singapore based company that owns the Capital Retail (Jiamao) department store in Shapingba), have pretty much bought Chaotianmen and plan to add a massive mixed-use complex right at the confluence of the Yangtze and Jialing rivers.  The impressve project designed by world renowned architecture firm SafdieArchitects will feature six new towers, four of which connected by a 'garden bridge,' and will take an estimated five years and $3.1 billion to build.  Check out the video presentation of the project below: